I love Freecyclers :)

Had a lady and her aunt stop by for a couple things on my Freecycle list. I invited them into my basement to examine my pile of growing items to give away. Here's what they left with. These were ecstatic :)

15. Bar tools set
16. Large luggage
17. Snowman picture frame
18. White curtain sheer
19. Tan curtain sheer
20-25. Six coffee mugs
26-33. Eight wine glasses
34. Two red curtain panels
35. Flower vase
36. White t-shirt
37. Pair of blue socks
38-41. Conference bags
42. Oil lamps
43. Wreath 
44. Travel coffee mug
45. Pair of flip-flops
46. Phone w/answering machine

So total counts:
Freecycle In: 6
Freecycle Out: 6 (I'm even!!)
100 things: 40

Bell's Brewery Homebrew Competition

So, yesterday I picked up my Bell's wort from from a friend that attending the tasting with his gf. This is truly a "P's" dream... It's a simple task. Transform ~5gal with your choice of hops and yeast ... maybe even more extract. Then boil, add sugar, bottle. It's madness! Complete liberty! Aaaahhhhhh!

Me, "I just finished reading the homebrew competition rules. I'm so nervous."
Hubby, "if it's bad; don't submit it. You have total freedom. Just be a P."
Me, "OK, but they (our aforementioned friends) are making two batches" (out of the wort).
Hubby, "He's an amateur. You're a pro. Just brew one; it'll be great."

Hahahaha... an amateur. This is the guy that taught me how to brew! Plus, he's gone off the recipe reservation far more many times that I have. The last batch I brewed I skipped the aroma hops and added orange slices instead. That's it. That's all the experimenting I've done! I feel I need to read up on this more, but I don't have the time! I have to get this boiling because it's in my third and last bucket. I have a Honey Porter & a Hazelnut & Chocolate Porter fermenting now. I need this third bucket to be able to transfer both porters into clearing. Then once I've done that I can move this wort into fermentation. But it's so much wort! I might need another bucket anyway! Aaahhhhhh!

Oh, I should also mention that first place gets their recipe brewed with a Bell's brewmaster and it'll be served on draft at Eccentric Cafe... no pressure to reproduce it. When have I ever made anything taste the same way twice??

Play-set, Garden fresh dinner & counts update

Play-set:
I always wanted a swing-set growing up. So now G has one at 4-months of age. Although Hubby says it's a play-set and not a swing-set. It is rather amazing. We bought it used, of course, and our old roomie helped Hubby disassemble, move and partially reassemble with another friend that came later. It has a rock climbing wall,rings, two big swings, one baby swing, one disc swing, slide, ramp, steering wheel and binoculars. It has a couple railing boards that need to be replaced, but the swings, slide and ramp are all in working order! I can't wait to look out the kitchen window watching him and his friends playing on it :)


Garden fresh dinner:
Tonight Shaun made garden fresh stuffed zucchini with garden fresh tomato basil sauce! It was delicious :) I couldn't get a good pictures of the dinner plate for some reason. And as you can see to the left, our garden is still producing red and yellow tomatoes, zucchini, cucumbers, green peppers and countless hot peppers. The Thai Hot Peppers are now starting to turn red thanks to the latest heat wave we had. I'm planning to save the water from the rain barrels in containers we would otherwise recycle. I'll use this water, I already have, to water my seeds and seedlings I'll be planting this winter. I'm starting to wish that every window in my house was actually a bay window so that I could set out all my little seedlings in the window sill and watch them grow. I'm just hoping Heleina doesn't thing I'm growing them for her.

Got rid of a few more things, yay!!

10. Half-full container of fabric softener. (I stopped using it a couple years ago and this poor container was just collecting dust.)
11. IKEA Metal clothesline. (I had hoped to put it on the other attic wall across from the other one I purchased that is currently being used to display cards. But I realized I didn't need it, nor did I have room.)
12-14. Three metal cookie tins to one happy, cookie-making, Freecycle recipient! 
So total counts:
Freecycle In: 6
Freecycle Out: 6 (I'm even!!)
100 things: 9 (Now that I've fulfilled my in vs out obligation, I'll just add to this list.... that is until I find something else I can't live without...)

hOur Exchange Ypsilanti - You have to do this!

So, I stumbled across this venture and am now completely stoked and can't wait to get others involved. The premise? Every hour of your time is worth an hour of someone else's time: weeding, therapy, weatherizing, fixing your car, knitting lesson, whatever! I bank an hour of my time providing a service to someone and then I can debit that hour of my time with whatever I need! It's an economy of time, instead of money. For a fuller review and to fill out your app, click here. Don't live in Ypsi? You might have one near you :)

The orientation I had to attend for my membership was held at the Ypsilanti Free Skool. A place with a similar concept. They want to provide free education of whatever: juggling, anarchistic theory and practice, whatever. I was definitely surrounded by my people.

In other news, I'm down another item to a freecycle member :)
9. Bar caddy

So total counts:
Freecycle In: 6
Freecycle Out: 5
100 things: 5

Newest Challenge: Get rid of 100 things!

So a friend told me about this other blogger's self-challenge to get rid of 100 things in 100 days. Well, I'm not one for confinement on the amount of time... but I've decided to take on the challenge and just get rid of 100 things. I've been adding things to Freecycle under the handle guenthea if you wanna check in on me. I am giving some things to friend's too. Here's what's gone so far:

1. Small diaper covers
2. MaryKay product bag (freecycled)
3. Sewing machine w/broken motor (freecycled)
4. Infant bathtub
5. Outlet sealers
6. Bummis disposable liners
7. Crib mattress
8. Plastic milk storage containers

In addition, I also want to get rid of one thing for everything I take on Freecycle. So far I've acquired:
1. 3-drawer unit that I have diapers in
2. Diaper bag full of diaper covers, bibs and other baby things
3. Boppy & cover - which I got w/the intent of giving away... so that cancels out
4. Fleece - which I used to make diaper liners and potty cozies
5. Christmas cards and decorations
6. 4-shelf unit that I put in the laundry area to organize all the bottles of laundry related items

So total counts:
Freecycle In: 6
Freecycle Out: 4
100 things: 5

I'm working my way towards simplicity :)

How Motherhood Has Changed Me

Well I've been a mother for 116 days now. I have to say that it's changed me mostly in ways I would've never dreamed of. Let's start with the fact that getting up at 7:30am isn't impossible. Yes, you read that correctly... I manage to be a somewhat functioning adult now as the sun is rising. I still wouldn't classify myself as a morning person since this new morning routine also includes hubby bringing me the deluxe breakfast tray to bed. (which includes coffee, oatmeal, bottle for G, & an extra bib.) It's caused me to become even worse at math than I was before (apparently that WAS possible). This meant that instead of planting a smaller garden this year, I ended up with 72 plants... oh, those plants come in a FOUR pack?! Oops. And I've had a surprisingly increased amount of time to read. Because my activity options are limited when I'm lying flat on my back with a baby on my chest. (Who knew something so tiny could immobilize an otherwise active adult?)

As a result  I read the book, Shiny Objects: Why We Spend Money We Don't Have in Search of Happiness We Can't Buy by James Roberts. Let's just say, I was quite convicted about reading this. The book is full of quizzes that test things like your contentment, impulsivity, self-control, materialism, and conflicting values. I scored horribly on nearly all the quizzes except recognizing product placements and actors used for them. (Shocker I know.) G was about two months old at this point and I decided I must change, lest he become just another consumer. Towards the end of the book, Roberts mentions "The Voluntary Simplicity Movement" and "The comPACT" which you can learn more about here. I got inspired and decided to do it - off the record. His motto is to barter, borrow, or buy used. I learned that homebrew is an excellent bartering tool for babysitting, helping with weeding and retractable clotheslines  It's been much easier than I imagined, but that lead into the newest endeavor in my life. 

Made from an old pickle barrel

I've also turned into a bit of sustainability nut, afterall, the garden is already planted, the clothesline is already up, I switched to the cup nearly 3yrs ago and I've been using my free stash of cloth diapers! I've become more diligent about unplugging everything and turning off power strips. (Hubby has agreed as long as I call them energy vampires.) I've really had to get creative when it comes to acquire needed things for a new baby in the house. I've been better about walking places I need to go or consolidating my stops. (Can't take the bike trailer until G is 1yr old.) We've been researching CSAs for the last several years, but decided we are ready to join. My mom got me a rain barrel for my 1st Mother's Day (which is from the county - a used (upcycled) pickle barrel!) Then we bought another one off of a friend that wasn't using hers. I've decided to save the water when we empty it for winter for my seedlings I'll start in the late winter. I attended a home energy workshop and learned about rope caulk, which I've been applying all over the house. I use cloth wipes, for me. I've also drug the candles back out for evening dinners. I'm enjoying EC'g, which I thought I would find more cumbersome, than easier, but it's been convenient and I enjoy washing diapers less often.

Red Thai Chilis

So am I more patient, loving, and kindhearted? Yeah, but I'm also just more conscious of all the ways our lifestyle will impact G - not just direct nurturing and parenting. And I already see myself becoming more grateful for all I have, not just Hubby & G.

Sweet Peppers

Zucchini

Jalapeno 

Tomatoes, Zucchini, Rhubarb, Cucumber & Raspberries

Hot peppers

Why Trauma Leads to Feeling Powerless

Before we look at the feeling of powerlessness of trauma victims,
let’s look at where trauma originates. Many of us have heard it that
one in three to four women and one in four to five men have been
sexually abused/assaulted by the time they reach 18-years-old. What we
may not know is that sexual abuse and assault account for only 38% of
trauma. The implication being, there is more trauma being experienced
in other ways.

The traumatic nature of an event is usually the element of surprise.
We are jolted from feeling safe, secure and comfortable to feeling
shame, vulnerability, and pain. Traumatic events can include a sudden
death, a car accident, witnessing a traumatic event (secondary
trauma), a natural disaster, diagnosis of an illness, or abandonment.
Certainly, there are sometimes when we can prepare for the actual
crisis itself, such is the case with some natural disasters, but there
was a moment when you went from being at rest, to having to cope with
the reality of a trauma event or crisis in your immediate future.
So, we have been surprised and are thus beginning the trauma reaction.
The person realizes they are unable to remove themselves from the
traumatic or abusive situation, which begins the feelings of feeling
hopelessness, helplessness, and powerlessness. These feelings will
intensify if the trauma is repeated and consistent. The victim will
feel the rush of cortisol running through their brain and body as they
attempt to determine what the next course of action will be. The
flight-or-fight response system has been activated, but proves
unhelpful as the trauma continues. Now the victim begins to dissociate
to cope with their feelings of powerlessness. The more powerless they
feel, the less hope they will have, only leading to feeling more
powerless.

Trauma victims need to see how they are not powerless and learn to
lean into healthy relationships for healing and hope. While they were
unable to stop the traumatic event from happening, they are not unable
to stop all negative things from happening to them.

www.crossrd.com

Forgiveness: It's Only About Me, Right?

We’ve all heard how important forgiveness is… for ME. Forgiving others is good for my mental and physical health, my emotional well-being and overall mood. Like you, I don’t want to carry around anger, bitterness, and resentment against others for the rest of my life; I make the choice to forgive so I can be a better me. However we don’t often hear about the difficulties in receiving forgiveness. The message is: forgiving others is really all about me. Or is it?

While I can’t deny the personal benefits received from forgiving someone else, I believe that forgiveness has far deeper implications to our minds and souls than simply feeling better. So, why should I forgive? The Biblical example of forgiveness is a gift of mercy from God to us. God does not forgive our sins simply for his benefit. He wants to enjoy us and to be with us forever. However, in order for this to be possible he needed to reconcile our sins. Clearly, God’s motives weren’t selfish in offering us forgiveness.

Also, when we forgive we reflect God’s glory. We are showing our hope in things yet-to-come and that our present actions impact our future. Now, even when we chose to forgive, it can be difficult to know how to proceed.

Mike Wilkerson in his book entitled, “Redemption: Freed by Jesus From the Idols We Worship and the Wounds We Carry” outlines five implications of choosing for forgive.

1. We forgive a “genuine debt.” This means that when something wrong, painful, unjust or hurtful happened to us, we shouldn’t simply shrug it off or ignore it. We acknowledge it. We feel the pain. We grieve the wrong.
2. “We should expect forgiveness to be costly.” God’s forgiveness to us cost him his son; it cost Jesus the agony of feeling abandoned by God. Believing that forgiveness is only about feeling better trivializes the price you pay to forgive someone that hurt you. You are making a difficult choice to absorb evil to prevent it from being passed on to someone else. You are choosing not to hurt others just because you have been hurt.
3. We “forgive generously.” When God chose to forgive us for our sins, he forgave all of them, not just the ones that were less hurtful to him or easiest for him to forgive. If we are going to forgive, we need to do so from the bottom of our heart.
4. We need to forgive before we receive an apology, or show repentance. The person that betrayed, hurt, or wounded us may never come to us and admit their wrongdoing. We can’t wait around wishing they will come to their senses. God did not wait for us to repent before providing a way back to him. He set the example of first forgiving us, even before we knew we needed to ask for forgiveness.
5. After we forgive, “allow for appropriate consequences.” Sometime the damage is already done and natural consequences should be allowed to continue. If they broke the law, then they need to face the legal consequences. To forgive doesn’t mean that we interrupt those consequences, or even take them upon ourselves. Should the wrongdoer remain unsafe even after these consequences, then continue to keep your distance.

It’s also important to look at receiving forgiveness from others. What impedes us from accepting forgiveness? Wilkerson expresses five common hurdles:

1. We consider ourselves a greater judge than God, or the person offering us forgiveness.
2. We’re looking for an idol to justify our fault. Maybe the idol is our parents’ approval or our idealized self-image. We see that even when forgiveness is offered we still don’t measure up and feel remorseful but not repentant.
3. We believe that our sin is a bigger deal to God, or the other person, than it is to us. We can’t really know how our wrongs impact another. And the fact is, God is more offended by our wrongs than we are.
4. We haven’t confessed. It’s hard to accept forgiveness when we haven’t admitted to any wrongdoing.
5. We want to control our own punishment thinking we are being noble. However, it’s better to be humble and accept the gift of forgiveness, feeling the joy that comes with being set free.

Take time now to see where you’re stuck. Are you having trouble forgiving someone else? It’s difficult, and I applaud your efforts on this journey. Are you having trouble receiving the forgiveness of God or another? Know that it’s a gift, so you can accept it and feel the joy.

- Adrianne G. Clarke, MA, TLLP

Originally posted at: www.crossrd.com

How Trauma Can Be Good

Post-Traumatic Stress can seem only negative as someone starts to pick up the shattered pieces of their heart and rebuild their life. But, in fact, trauma survivors have been found to have many positives on their side. Post-traumatic growth is the idea that after someone has been through a traumatic event they are likely to see positives from their experience that leads to personal growth and change. They are able to have greater empathy and compassion for others because they have survived traumatic events and are in need of compassion and empathy themselves. Because the trauma victim has survived an event, or possibly repeated traumatic events they can feel more capable of conquering other difficult tasks. Their capacity to experience intimacy in relationship with God and others can increase as their walls of personal defense were destroyed. They can become more comfortable with intimacy as safe and healthy people surround them and build trust with them. Post-traumatic growth is a helpful concept when caring for someone with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. As a caregiver, you can instill hope in the survivor by helping them draw on their tremendous strength that helped them survive their trauma and use it again to walk along the path of healing. Tap into their compassion and empathy they have for others and turn it onto themselves. This can be difficult as it is often easier to have more compassion for others than themselves as false guilt and shame enters in. They can begin to see themselves with God’s eyes and allow themselves room for healing.

Helping Your Grieving Friend

At some point you will be called to stand beside your friend as they encounter a season of grieving. I see more tears from inappropriate comments made during this season than any other. We all mean well, but sometimes we’re simply hurtful. How can we improve? Let’s begin by looking at what grief is and how are friends get there. Grieving is a state of distress and sorrow. Biblical characters were said to be “clothed in sackcloth and ashes” when they were grieving. This was an outward sign of the emotional upheaval they were feeling on the inside; they would literally rub ashes on their head and wear a coarse garment made from goat or camel’s hair or hemp. Our friends may encounter something unexpected or ongoing like grieving the loss of a parent (by death, or losing them slowly as they deteriorate, such as the case with dementia or Alzheimers), the death of a sibling or child (miscarriage, newborn, toddler, teen, etc), the loss of a job, inability to have children (infertility), a child that’s runaway (physically or emotionally), desiring to be married when they are still single and the list goes on. Sometimes are friends grieve as their state of life changes, empty-nesters (children leave home), become parents (losing their unstructured free time), getting married (losing their independence), a planned job/career change, move to a new city, school or country, etc. It’s important for all of us to keep in mind that some wounds will not be completely healed this side of Heaven. Our desire for a “quick-fix” comment often only leaves us feeling less uncomfortable watching our friend mourn – it will not make them feel “all better.” Now let’s see what people say, and what they could say instead. Your friend does not need to hear that “it will all be better” because you can’t personally guarantee that. They do need to hear that, “one day you will awake and it will hurt a little less, and then a little less still.” Your friend does not need to hear that you understand their pain or loss. You may well have encountered a similar situation, but we all have different pasts that allow us to process our pains differently. They do need to hear that you will be beside them while they process through their pain and that you won’t run away from them when it gets hard, or uncomfortable. A statement like, “I know it’s hard” or “I’m sorry” can be exactly what they need to hear. Your friend does not need to hear, “it’s OK,” but they do need to hear, “you’re OK.” People in grief do not feel that they are OK: they need to know “it’s” not OK (whatever “it” is), but they are OK. What they are feeling is normal. Your friend does not need to hear how they feel, “You must be devastated,” “You must feel torn to shreds,” and the like. They do need to be asked how they are feeling and then allowed to talk or think it through to figure out how they are feeling. We need to listen to our friend and ask them questions instead of assuming we know what they are going through. Your friend does not additional forms of false hope (like the “it’s OK” or “it will all be better” stated above). These can come in the form of “Maybe next month you’ll get pregnant,” “You can always find another job, maybe one you even like better,” “You’ll find the right man/woman,” “I’m sure they’re in Heaven,” or “They’ll come back someday.” Again, we can’t guarantee these statements and things can look worse before they get better. They do need to hear that ultimately Jesus is our hope, comfort, and strength and they can do all things through Him. They need to hear that His burden is easy and His yoke is light and they can call upon Him to be their refuge. And Jesus does know how they feel and can grieve with them. Your friend does not need to be placated with statements like “At least they were old and Lived a good life,” “You didn’t really like your boss anyway,” “Why don’t you just adopt,” or “Think about what you could do with all your free time now.” They need to know that it’s OK to be where they are in their grieving process and they don’t need to hopeful about the future just yet when they are still ruminating on the past. You can be their hope when they can't hope themselves. We are probably most family with the Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as “The Five Stages of Grief” (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance). I find “The 7 States of Grief” to be more comprehensive. (The following is taken from the website: http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html). This is what your friend will go through as they grieve. Remember these are cyclical and not linear, so your friend will flow through each stage several times for weeks, months, or years. SHOCK & DENIAL - You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks. PAIN & GUILT – As the shock wears off, it is replaced with suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs. You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels choatic and scary during this phase. ANGER & BARGAINING – Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death of someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion. You may rain against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair. DEPRESSION, REFELECTION, LONELINESS – Just when your friends may think you be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this state of grieving. During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things youdid with your lost one (or wish you had done) and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair. THE UPWARD TURN - As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a litte calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessens, and your depressions begins to lift slightly. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH – As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him/her. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE – You learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled you that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward. You will start to look forward and actually plain things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living. Sometimes all you need to tell your friend is, “This stinks. I love you.”

Healing In The Eyes Of Community

Have you ever thought about what you learn about yourself when you gaze into someone's eyes: do you feel loved, accepted and cherished? do you feel scared, judged and dehumanized? Think about the messages you received when you looked into your parents' eyes. What do your friends think about you? What do the eyes of God reveal about who you really are? Our view of how God sees us is often determined by how people treat us and affirm us. As we examine the various mental images and messages we gather about ourselves from the eyes of others, it can be easy to feel insecure and uncertain of our place and purpose in this world - especially if those messages have been quite varied. Yet, God says we are his beloved, his cherished son/daughter. His eyes are gentle, full of mercy and grace and he desires to be reconciled to his people. The way to restore our view of ourselves from the broken messages received from others into the Truth of how God sees us is through community. Being in relationships with others who model God's grace, promotes healing of the wounds from our past. God lovingly created us in his image and placed us in a fallen world to bear that image. How are you displaying God's image in your community? - Adrianne G. Clarke, MA, TLLPHave you ever thought about what you learn about yourself when you gaze into someone's eyes: do you feel loved, accepted and cherished? do you feel scared, judged and dehumanized? Think about the messages you received when you looked into your parents' eyes. What do your friends think about you? What do the eyes of God reveal about who you really are? Our view of how God sees us is often determined by how people treat us and affirm us. As we examine the various mental images and messages we gather about ourselves from the eyes of others, it can be easy to feel insecure and uncertain of our place and purpose in this world - especially if those messages have been quite varied. Yet, God says we are his beloved, his cherished son/daughter. His eyes are gentle, full of mercy and grace and he desires to be reconciled to his people. The way to restore our view of ourselves from the broken messages received from others into the Truth of how God sees us is through community. Being in relationships with others who model God's grace, promotes healing of the wounds from our past. God lovingly created us in his image and placed us in a fallen world to bear that image. How are you displaying God's image in your community?

You might be wondering if therapy will be of any help to you because you know it won't change your present circumstances. So, what is psychotherapy and what can it do for you? Psychotherapy is an opportunity to discuss life's most difficult circumstances and feelings in a safe, confidential environment where you can receive tools to help you learn to cope with these difficulties more effectively. It can also help you work through the pains of your past that will lead you on the path of healing. Your therapist can help you see your circumstances differently and offer you a space to practice your new-found skills. So let's get practical. You've decided therapy might be in your future, but are anxious about what will go on. First, you will come to our office and fill out just a few, simple forms that ask for your basic information, symptoms and what your goals are for meeting with a therapist. Then, you have a seat on our couch and we'll continue to collect some family history and your present circumstances that brought you were you are today. It's important to note that you don't have to answer any questions you are uncomfortable answering. Payment will be taken and you will be on your way feeling relieved that you've taken the first step in a more healthy you. After your first session is complete, your therapist will create some treatment goals for you to help guide you on the path to healing. So while your therapist can't change your circumstances, they can guide you on how to change your thoughts, attitudes and false beliefs to help you receive the healing you need to be healthier.

Things that confuse me about Americans... & Italians

1. Americans seem willing to eat or drink pretty much anything... At a gas station in Italy, I was served fresh squeezed orange juice. I received a beer anywhere I went, not be mention an excellent caffe. Can't decide where to eat while roaming the streets of any small Italian village? No problem, their all way better than most places you'd actually seek out in the States.

2. Americans care about things. We put them behind temperature controlled glass and put alarms all around them. Nature however is not worth quite that level of protection. Perhaps because we have plenty of nature and not art? Italians go out of their way to protect nature and expose art to all the "damage" of the elements and human contact.

3. Americans get quite agitated and rude when things don't go efficiently and how they want. Italians seem not fazed by so called delays or disruptions. Perhaps it's all the wine.

4. Americans can be seen not wearing the appropriate winter attire while being outside. Italians wear coats and other winter gear as part of their outfit. To go outside without a coat is to risk being called an "americano" by a nearby Italian.

5. Americans seem to think everyone speaks English, or perhaps they just think they should, thereby making few attempts to speak the language and resort to pointing to what they want. Italians appreciate those that attempt to communicate in Italian or another European language as they speak several.

6. Americans switch their fork between their right and left hands while eating. This seems to waste time, which is odd for them to do since we have a culture that prides itself on efficiency and productivity. Italians eat with their fork in their left-hand... all the time.

7. For some unknown reason, American wine under $7 is not exactly drinkable. Yet a bottle of wine in Italy for 3 euro is amazing.

8. Since we're talking about wine... when you purchase it State-side, each bottle is carefully wrapped in a paper bag. In Italy, wine is treated as water and all bottles purchased (be it 2 or 10) are all lumped together in one flimsy, yet large, plastic bag.

9. Americans like promptness. They like to be on time, and expect others to be timely which includes all bills. In Italy, the water bill is mailed once a year. The utility bill is mailed when they feel like (which could be six months or more leaving you with a 1000 euro bill). However, if you are pulled over with a police officer you are expected to pay your ticket on the spot. If you don't have the cash - they'll follow you until you do.

10. Americans like to recycle and force recycling to some extent - more or less depending on where you live. Italians are issued 52 bags for trash each year. Now that is a new level of forced recycling.

11. Americans have a bizarre relationship with alcohol and yet most states I believe have a legal driving limit around 0.08 and seem to encourage getting our past DUI offenders back on the road. Italy loves it's alcohol and yet has a legal driving limit of 0.05. Should you get a DUI in Italy, they will take possession of your car... permanently (even if you're still paying on it).

Buon Natale

We're throughly enjoying our 1st Christmas outside of the States. We slept in, worked out, made the pie filling and rolled out the dough, baked the chocolate pecan pie, got ready, threw in the lamb, boys played COD, girls Skyped, and now getting ready to eat. I'm trying to convince them all to go to some place warm for Christmas next year since it seemed everyone's flight was delayed coming in and out of Europe. I'm voting for Australia! Too bad it's such a long flight though. I might need more than one crochet project for that trip. I already finished Shaun's scarf I started on this one.

Trieste

The four of us went to Trieste yesterday. As we were driving through narrow roads with cars parked along both sides, Heather folded in her rear-view mirror and this quick paced Italian music was playing the radio. The entire scene reminded me the driving scene in the movie "French Kiss" where Luc is driving the stolen car through the streets of Paris. Only in this case, none of us were freaking out like Kate, but the music was similar. We went to a church and a fortress which were both really cool. The rain actually held off for a nice change. We got a fair bit of walking in though not as much as we did in Venice for sure! All of us had sore feet that night, so we were relieved to not have that much walking to do. We made another delicious meal at home and did all our shopping for Christmas dinner. I can't wait!

Veneiza

Went to Venice and I fell in love. I was fantasizing about staying there and living by the water. I'm picking up the language quickly enough... I'm sure I could find a job, right?! Even though it rained all day, we were still able to really enjoy ourselves. We saw lots of art at different churches and a museum. We went to San Marco's Basilica which was stunning and so was the view despite the fog. I'm really glad we came on this trip. We're having such a great time! (As if I didn't say that already.)

Ama stare in Italia

Our Italian trip continues in a relaxed state. Shaun stayed up last night until 6:30 this morning to watch the Bears game. Da Bears won, so his lack of sleep was apparently worth it :) Heather and I stayed up until 3:30 to get Shaun ready to watch the game and then to wake up Adam for work. After sleeping in, Heather, Shaun and I headed to an Italian supermarket for some things we needed to our Italian Christmas dinner. We got some good wines for 3 euro each. What is wrong with the wine in the states?! This wine is so good. Heather said at dinner tonight that we really enjoy food (after we talked about a meal we ate two years ago). Yes, we do appreciate the nuances of life. We all ate a pizzeria for dinner. I was a little nervous when all the other patrons were Americans. The crust was thicker than normal, but still good. The gellato was too cold and had some ice chips in it. So not the best meal, but good nonetheless - as in still better than most places and basically all chains in the States ;)

Meanwhile we're having some quality time while we're here. We've had some good convo with his brother and sister-in-law. We talked to some friends on Skype back home today that we're praying and doing accountability with. They are always encouraging and good at helping us put words to our feelings. We have enjoyed meeting with both of these couples and getting to know them more fully. It's been a blessing that during a time where we have felt in a dessert for other Christian couples, that the Lord has provided for some companionship. We have also been grateful that it's been fairly sunny so far (although it's supposed to rain all day when we go to Venice to walk around tomorrow). And Shaun has won at Settler's twice which he is quite excited about!

Italy so far

We ended up staying awake from 830AM Thursday to 11PM Friday. It was brutal. We can tell you the whole glob of stories later, but we basically would get bored waiting in one queue and go to another one. After the end of the day we ended up back in the same queue we started in - trying to get a hotel room. (Another lady we were in front of Friday said she waited in the hotel line for 7hrs, so we actually didn't miss anything.) So we got a free hotel room, dinner, 2 drinks each and a little overnight bag with a shirt, socks, and various toiletries that have been serving us well since we still don't have our bags yet. So that was Thursday night. Then Friday morning we arrived at the airport around 9AM and spent about an hour wandering around trying to figure how where to go. Then we waited in an extremely long (possible 6 mi) queue for 6hrs before re-booking a flight for 810PM. At about 845 they started kicking people out of the airport that had not rebooked. So we are extremely grateful we got that flight.

Meanwhile in queue, people were getting quite restless. One dude thought another one was cutting and another guy called him a dick but the guy wasn't cutting, he actually already had a boarding pass and had been waiting for 4 hours for nothing! It was by far the funnies thing I had heard all day. We had been all lighthearted and laughing the whole time and finally someone asked where we were from and we were all shocked that we're Americans! Look - we're finally getting a good name! And we chatted w/some Scottish guy, Colin the whole time. We have some stories about him later. But he was really fun. After about 5hrs he finally asked what I did and I said I was psychologist, specializing in trauma. He said, OH! Well no wonder this isn't bothering you! I guess your work really puts things into perspective! LOL :) Yeah, I guess so. I must admit that my entire perspective on queues as now been permanently changed. Then while waiting for our luggage some guy asked another lady how long she had been in Amsterdam and said he got in that line at 6AM and when he finally got to the front of the line he told the lady, "you get me a seat on a flight or I'm going home with you tonight. I guess she didn't want me to go home with her! HAHAHA" So, the lady asks him where he's from, and he said, "Oh I'm from Georgia." And she just goes, "Ah." Oh my gosh... STOP TALKING! No wonder people hate Americans.

Today was relaxing. We slept in til 1 and then sat around the house. We went to downtown and there was an outdoor market going on (maybe b/c of Christmas?) which was not normal so that was fun. We ate a hole-in-the-wall place and spoke all italiano. The funniest part was that I didn't look up what 1/2 liter of wine was so I thought it was litre e mezzo, which was actually a liter and a half of wine. We really wanted mezzo litre. Pssh. It was only an 8 euro mistake and we were able to finish it w/o problem :)

Adam & Heather have 2 cocker spaniels that are quite energetic. They are not bothering my allergies too much yet, but they have all tile flooring, so I know that helps. I know I'm glad God provided that for us for the two days of being awake (36hrs straight) and then 16hrs in queues. It was quite remarkable how calm I was which helped keep S calm. We still don't have our bags, but Adam & Heather's clothes are making do so that's a praise.

Embryo Adoption

So Shaun & I attended an adoption orientation meeting at Bethany, last Tuesday. The meeting went very well and they presented our different adoption options. Of all the options, embryo adoption seems the most appealing. Many of you asked me what that entails, so I'll try to line that out for you. Basically it's the latter half of the IVF process. Someone else's embryo would be carried by me allowing me the chance to be pregnant and recognized as the child's parents at birth. (They would have no genetic relation to either of us.)There's a 32% chance the embryo will go to full term. The adoption is a contract, so the donor's rights are terminated at the embryo's release instead of having a waiting period like a standard adoption where someone can reclaim their rights. You can read more about it here.

Novelist

I have successfully completed another novel for National Novel Writing Month. This year proved to be a healthy outlet for my rage as I wrote a sailing murder mystery. I had a lot of fun and realized in the process that I am a horrible murderer. I had a hard time coming with with dialogue for the murder scenes and an even harder time trying to decide if justice should prevail for my murderer, who was also the main character. So for any of you who were concerned you might be next, have no fear. I can't even write about it... let alone carry it out. I also took a brave step of sending it to two friends for "fun." I have yet to figure out what about this is fun as they are both critical thinkers... and well... critical people. But I suppose if I ever plan to at least print and bind one of these things, I should at least have someone get rid of my typos. Last year I was completely over writing when I did NaNoWriMo. Probably because I was in the throws of my 2nd year of grad school and writing a bunch of paper ta boot. This year I am actually lamenting that the month is over and actually feel compelled to perhaps work on this one a little more. And I'm already compiling suggestions for next year :)

"I think stories help us fight the nihilistic urges that constantly threaten to consume us."