OK... so I always told myself I would never become one of those bitter women who no longer lept for joy at the news of her friends announcing their pregnancy. How selfish I thought they sounded. Of course, logically, I realize God's in control, having a baby right now would be hideous timing, and not to mention extremely costly to my school and home life. But there's nothing rational about having a baby...
Since December 2007 we've perpetually had 12 friends pregnant. As soon as one gives birth, another friend pops up within a week to announce her news. We even had one friend miscarry and still had a 'replacement.' Sigh. We had friends tell us today they are expecting. And I didn't jump up and down, start clapping, or spring to the phone to squeal my excitement. And then it hit me - I've become one of THEM! Oh my. I don't know how this happened. When I stopped believing in my heart and only with my head. But I'm praying this too will pass and I can be filled with joy for the new blessing that will be entering our lives.
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