So I attended the women's retreat with our church last weekend. I was on the planning committee, so I was pretty busy the whole time, but I'm glad I went. I walked away with a few thoughts I wanting to share, some questions to ponder and of course, some God moments...
Friday night was interesting in that I got there, all settled in, and it wasn't really hectic. I realized that I hadn't really thought about the fact that I was there to spend some alone time with God. I had been so busy writing 2 papers, taking a mid-term in Trinitarianism and taking a quiz that I hadn't mentally prepared to be there. I started talking with my friend Deb at the registration table as we were getting the ladies checked in and settled. I realized how much I enjoy working with the women at Knox and how much I love serving these women. Annherst spoke that night about Christian friendships and community. I had to laugh because I kept thinking that she was saying everything that I always say! It was great to be reaffirmed about intentional, transparent relationships. We ended the session and I had organized a spa night for the ladies. My massage therapist friend came and gave 10 minute massages, and I had a hand and nail stations set up for them to dip, scrub and rub and then I painted their nails. It went over so well. (Ya know you don't hear about men doing a spa night at their retreats!) Then Jenny and I had an amazing chat at the hot tub awaiting our call from Andy and Laura - as he was proposing. So my best friend got engaged... so stoked!!
Saturday I was awoken way to early... and of course, that means like before 10am :) It was indeed 8am. Diane spoke in the morn from John 15. There's an intimacy in John's Gospel - an intimacy He wants with us, so much, that He gave us His word, and asked us to abide in Him. When you see a vineyard you can be surprised how much has to be lobbed off in order for the vine to bear fruit the next season. We can be lobbed in actions, words or in our heart. But abiding doesn't mean that we're busy bearing fruit all the time, because by root, abiding happens in Him and is more of a static word. And when the roots are the most deep are when Jesus needs to uproot us the most. (No wonder I had to live in three states in one year...) Abiding is more about patience, steadfastness and perseverance. By acting like shriveled branches we are depriving ourselves of the most deep love that's offered in Christ. We will be amazed at the fruit on the branches. Take the promises off the shelf and start believing in what He can do and then ask Him for them.
We had personal quiet time... which was most interesting. I basically realized that I need to be expecting more from Him... more on this later. We broke up into discussion groups and I decided if the group I was leading had a lull I would ask them this additional question: What have you been avoiding that God is calling you to do and what steps can you make towards obedience as you leave the retreat? There was indeed a lull, and I got some interesting responses to my question. I saw a theme in my group - women not believing that we are told that we will do greater things than He. The evening testimony had me tears. Eileen spoke of living in a foreign land for 13 yrs and touched my heart with her statement about how you can be so lonely in a crowd of people. Her heart for community and people is not unlike mine. I realized that I too find myself with that feeling often... perhaps because I don't allow others to minister to me in the way I insist on ministering to them. Sufficed to say, an amazing intercessory prayer time and more awesome convos later - it was bed time.
Sunday's talk was good. But I was still mulling over the thoughts from the night before. I've been contemplating the following since my return...
How much of my ministry am I trying to do in the Flesh instead of in Him? Are Jesus' words penetrating me to the point of wanting to ask Him for things?
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